I finally learned how to buzz people into my building!!!! It freaking took long enough! And it was all because a random guy who lives across the hall decided to come to my party tonight when he heard us all laughing and was bored- he told me how to do it!
AND- that was the second time in a week that a random neighbor decided to pop in to a party I was at!
Midwestern, or just seriously random?!
Either way, I am really excited to finally be able to do this.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Thursday, December 10, 2009
P is for Plague
Dear Plague-
You suck.
I don't usually start my strongly worded letters that way, but that pretty much says it all. I have been feeling gross and crappy since last Friday. You know what!? That was a WEEK ago!!!! I'll give it to you, you are new and different every day. Sore throat, snottyness, muscle aches, the works. Thanks SO much! Always keeping me on my toes. And always sending me to the store for new boxes of tissue and various medicines. There's nothing like tromping over to Walgreens in 2 degrees. Really, its something everyone should try.
What really pisses me off is that I've had to miss work, miss out on fun activities, feel gross while getting ready for my party, makes missing people even worse, and frankly- its boring to sit at home doing nothing. So...I don't...and then it takes longer to get better! And now I'm on a weirdo schedule because I took a nap, like you are supposed to do when plaguey, and I'm not ready to go to bed at a normal time. Oh, and did I mention it makes me whinier and grumpier than usual!?
I just want someone to snuggle with me, make me tea, and entertain me while I attempt not to die. You know what, plague?! You owe me that. Your bill is in the mail!
Here's to getting better soon...like, now. Before my party. Before my trip. Before I go CRAZY (...ok, crazier!).
My meds are kicking in...time for drug induced dreams and congested goodness!!!
So plague...the next time come to my house, think again...this is seriously unacceptable and there will be grave consequences.
Yours in tissues and tea,
Andrea
You suck.
I don't usually start my strongly worded letters that way, but that pretty much says it all. I have been feeling gross and crappy since last Friday. You know what!? That was a WEEK ago!!!! I'll give it to you, you are new and different every day. Sore throat, snottyness, muscle aches, the works. Thanks SO much! Always keeping me on my toes. And always sending me to the store for new boxes of tissue and various medicines. There's nothing like tromping over to Walgreens in 2 degrees. Really, its something everyone should try.
What really pisses me off is that I've had to miss work, miss out on fun activities, feel gross while getting ready for my party, makes missing people even worse, and frankly- its boring to sit at home doing nothing. So...I don't...and then it takes longer to get better! And now I'm on a weirdo schedule because I took a nap, like you are supposed to do when plaguey, and I'm not ready to go to bed at a normal time. Oh, and did I mention it makes me whinier and grumpier than usual!?
I just want someone to snuggle with me, make me tea, and entertain me while I attempt not to die. You know what, plague?! You owe me that. Your bill is in the mail!
Here's to getting better soon...like, now. Before my party. Before my trip. Before I go CRAZY (...ok, crazier!).
My meds are kicking in...time for drug induced dreams and congested goodness!!!
So plague...the next time come to my house, think again...this is seriously unacceptable and there will be grave consequences.
Yours in tissues and tea,
Andrea
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Monday? HA- Try Sunday!
Usually people dread Mondays. End of the weekend, beginning of the work week, etc.
I wouldn't say that I dread Sunday, but Sunday is for me what Monday is for many- the big "today is the day I have a ton of stuff to do that simply can't be left undone at the end of the day" day. I teach Hebrew school on Sunday mornings, often have volunteering in the afternoon, and it for some reason it has always been my "prepare for the rest of the week- preferably in PJs" day. Try as I might, grocery shopping, cleaning, laundry etc never feel the same as they do on Sundays.
So today was another packed Sunday. Hebrew school, volunteering, phone appointment, groceries, etc all on the agenda. I had a great lesson plan, everything was ready...we started our art project and all of a sudden one of the kids projectile vomits all over the damn rug. Really?!
EEWWWW.
Look, I have no idea how mom's put up with this sort of thing. I seriously hope that I magically transform into someone willing to deal with that when I have my own kids- but today was not that day. Plus, I pretty much plan my life around not puking. I'm not even kidding. It is one of the very few things I actively work VERY hard at avoiding. So when this happened, and I had to put on my best teacher face and use my very best teacher voice, I was screaming and running away on the inside. We abandoned the room- and even after it had been cleaned up, we stayed in another classroom the rest of the morning. I used a LOT of hand sanitizer. Surprisingly, the other kids were totally chill about it. The offending child kept commenting about how this happens a lot after he eats breakfast. I'm sorry- but that is not normal!!! Get that kid to a doctor and figure out why the food you're feeding him makes him ill! Really people, parent much?!
The best part was when his dad tried to get him to stay in class. Ummm...no?! NO NO NO!!! I will not allow that! Your kid pukes- he GOES HOME. End of story! I don't have a lot of rules in the classroom, and I'm not that strict about the ones I do have- but holy crap that is one of my rules. Apparently my "Here is his homework folder, I hope he feels better, and I will see him next week" was not clear enough. Next time I will try "Here is his homework folder, now get your germ ridden, vile, no-neck monster out of my class before I flip shit".
Anyway, the moral of the story is that I really feel like I earned some teacher points today. Even though it won't happen, I secretly hope that one of the kids makes me a card next week when we do that as our project. Knowing that they like me and are having a good time might actually make today semi-worth it. Oh, and if they can keep their breakfasts down...I'd settle for that, too.
I wouldn't say that I dread Sunday, but Sunday is for me what Monday is for many- the big "today is the day I have a ton of stuff to do that simply can't be left undone at the end of the day" day. I teach Hebrew school on Sunday mornings, often have volunteering in the afternoon, and it for some reason it has always been my "prepare for the rest of the week- preferably in PJs" day. Try as I might, grocery shopping, cleaning, laundry etc never feel the same as they do on Sundays.
So today was another packed Sunday. Hebrew school, volunteering, phone appointment, groceries, etc all on the agenda. I had a great lesson plan, everything was ready...we started our art project and all of a sudden one of the kids projectile vomits all over the damn rug. Really?!
EEWWWW.
Look, I have no idea how mom's put up with this sort of thing. I seriously hope that I magically transform into someone willing to deal with that when I have my own kids- but today was not that day. Plus, I pretty much plan my life around not puking. I'm not even kidding. It is one of the very few things I actively work VERY hard at avoiding. So when this happened, and I had to put on my best teacher face and use my very best teacher voice, I was screaming and running away on the inside. We abandoned the room- and even after it had been cleaned up, we stayed in another classroom the rest of the morning. I used a LOT of hand sanitizer. Surprisingly, the other kids were totally chill about it. The offending child kept commenting about how this happens a lot after he eats breakfast. I'm sorry- but that is not normal!!! Get that kid to a doctor and figure out why the food you're feeding him makes him ill! Really people, parent much?!
The best part was when his dad tried to get him to stay in class. Ummm...no?! NO NO NO!!! I will not allow that! Your kid pukes- he GOES HOME. End of story! I don't have a lot of rules in the classroom, and I'm not that strict about the ones I do have- but holy crap that is one of my rules. Apparently my "Here is his homework folder, I hope he feels better, and I will see him next week" was not clear enough. Next time I will try "Here is his homework folder, now get your germ ridden, vile, no-neck monster out of my class before I flip shit".
Anyway, the moral of the story is that I really feel like I earned some teacher points today. Even though it won't happen, I secretly hope that one of the kids makes me a card next week when we do that as our project. Knowing that they like me and are having a good time might actually make today semi-worth it. Oh, and if they can keep their breakfasts down...I'd settle for that, too.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
I can't believe this even happened...
So, I woke up at 7:30 this morning. There was even a teeny bit of sun!
7:31 AM: BLASTING Mexican music. Like, a foot outside my door.
I'm sorry...what!?
I listened for another few minutes, to make sure I wasn't crazy. But no, it was real. And holy cow it was unacceptable. I get that the construction workers are doing boring work- and I appreciate them doing it QUIETLY. Even if I am awake, I still don't want to hear that! Headphones? Silence? People pay monks in far away places thousands of dollars to be allowed to have hours of quiet contemplation...these guys could do that and get paid!
I went out into the hallway, bleary eyed and pissed off, and asked VERY nicely for them to turn it down/off...and the guy said "Ok, I guess so". Really?!
The music is back, and it is 9:17- I'll grant you, a marginally more acceptable hour for this, but still obnoxious. I don't want to be the chick who gets them in trouble or complains to management...so I will live with it. But I don't have to be happy about it.
7:31 AM: BLASTING Mexican music. Like, a foot outside my door.
I'm sorry...what!?
I listened for another few minutes, to make sure I wasn't crazy. But no, it was real. And holy cow it was unacceptable. I get that the construction workers are doing boring work- and I appreciate them doing it QUIETLY. Even if I am awake, I still don't want to hear that! Headphones? Silence? People pay monks in far away places thousands of dollars to be allowed to have hours of quiet contemplation...these guys could do that and get paid!
I went out into the hallway, bleary eyed and pissed off, and asked VERY nicely for them to turn it down/off...and the guy said "Ok, I guess so". Really?!
The music is back, and it is 9:17- I'll grant you, a marginally more acceptable hour for this, but still obnoxious. I don't want to be the chick who gets them in trouble or complains to management...so I will live with it. But I don't have to be happy about it.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Indiana...Where Hope Goes to Die
The University of Chicago is aptly named the place Fun goes to die. Well, I have found where Hope meets its maker, and it is full of ... Middle People.
I am in West Lafayette and Lafayette Indiana- or the Greater Lafayette. Call it whatever you want, its still depressing. Purdue is a completely respectable school, in a heinous and unfortunate location. I am sipping on the worst latte I have had ever- or at least a very long time. The coffee shop (one of two I have found in this whole place) is ok, has free internet, the people are nice enough (And the corn chips are SUPER good...coincidence?). But WOWZA. Even driving here- both from Chicago and to the "downtown" from the hotel was enough to make me thankful to have grown up in Gainesville. YIKES. There's basically nothing to do, no movie theaters or anything, just some churches, a lot of fields, and several more tractor stores than one might expect even for here. I couldn't see the street signs last night because there was CORN in the way. I mean, really?!
There are approximately 100,000 people in Greater Lafayette, including the 35,000 students at Purdue. Guess how many Super WalMarts there are! THREE. Ellen made a legitimate point that really, do you even need one? But I decided to venture forth and experience a Super WalMart in Indiana, because I have only ever been to one, very briefly, in Florida. Plus, it was right next to the hotel, so what the hell?! Talk about massive! Admittedly, other than the ancient Greeter, the people were very friendly and the ginormous place was nearly empty (perhaps because you could literally fit the entire population inside there and still have room but there are still two other Super Walmarts at which to shop!?). And DAMN was it cheap. I found stuff for several bucks less than I normally pay. And if you ignore the politics and social repercussions of my purchases, your stomach almost doesn't feel yucky. There is a Super Target too, but I suspect its not as cheap. The grocery store part of WalMart was surprisingly nice. I'd still think twice before buying meat there, but bananas or Cheerios seems ok. And it was the cheapest box of Cheerios I've ever found! Hopefully its actually Cheerios when I open it...
And lets discuss Middle People. Theres a new TV show that I watch on Hulu called The Middle, and it is about a family in Indiana. I really like the show- its hilarious. The real thing? They seem pretty nice, but very plain. And boring. And drab. I haven't been to campus, but the rest of them dress just like you'd expect Middle People to dress. Jerseys. Jeans. Frumpy sweaters and ugly, sensible shoes. If NYC is boutique/couture/Saks and Chicago is Bloomies or Nordstrom, then the Middle People are Old Navy, on a good day. WalMart on a normal day. I look pretty cute today, I did my nails and straightened my hair, and I'm wearing a cute skirt, my tall boots, and a bright pink sweater. Totally normal- everywhere but here. I am close to certain that these people spend, if any at all, about 5 minutes getting ready in the morning, and that includes brushing teeth and eating breakfast. I mean, fine, if you don't care, whatever. But don't look at me like I'm an alien just because I look nice.
The other weird thing about Middle People is that you can't quite categorize them...they aren't really hicks, and they aren't really poor white trash...most of them don't have much of an accent. And somehow that makes it even worse. And way harder to concretely make fun of...
Can I leave yet?? I came here to see my dad, because he had meetings at Purdue. He better feel very very very loved. I haven't felt so much like a city slicker out in the boonies since the last time I was in Indiana or Kentucky or some such tragic place. One of the physicists always calls Indiana the Armpit of the Midwest...and I think I'm going to have to agree with him on that one.
I am in West Lafayette and Lafayette Indiana- or the Greater Lafayette. Call it whatever you want, its still depressing. Purdue is a completely respectable school, in a heinous and unfortunate location. I am sipping on the worst latte I have had ever- or at least a very long time. The coffee shop (one of two I have found in this whole place) is ok, has free internet, the people are nice enough (And the corn chips are SUPER good...coincidence?). But WOWZA. Even driving here- both from Chicago and to the "downtown" from the hotel was enough to make me thankful to have grown up in Gainesville. YIKES. There's basically nothing to do, no movie theaters or anything, just some churches, a lot of fields, and several more tractor stores than one might expect even for here. I couldn't see the street signs last night because there was CORN in the way. I mean, really?!
There are approximately 100,000 people in Greater Lafayette, including the 35,000 students at Purdue. Guess how many Super WalMarts there are! THREE. Ellen made a legitimate point that really, do you even need one? But I decided to venture forth and experience a Super WalMart in Indiana, because I have only ever been to one, very briefly, in Florida. Plus, it was right next to the hotel, so what the hell?! Talk about massive! Admittedly, other than the ancient Greeter, the people were very friendly and the ginormous place was nearly empty (perhaps because you could literally fit the entire population inside there and still have room but there are still two other Super Walmarts at which to shop!?). And DAMN was it cheap. I found stuff for several bucks less than I normally pay. And if you ignore the politics and social repercussions of my purchases, your stomach almost doesn't feel yucky. There is a Super Target too, but I suspect its not as cheap. The grocery store part of WalMart was surprisingly nice. I'd still think twice before buying meat there, but bananas or Cheerios seems ok. And it was the cheapest box of Cheerios I've ever found! Hopefully its actually Cheerios when I open it...
And lets discuss Middle People. Theres a new TV show that I watch on Hulu called The Middle, and it is about a family in Indiana. I really like the show- its hilarious. The real thing? They seem pretty nice, but very plain. And boring. And drab. I haven't been to campus, but the rest of them dress just like you'd expect Middle People to dress. Jerseys. Jeans. Frumpy sweaters and ugly, sensible shoes. If NYC is boutique/couture/Saks and Chicago is Bloomies or Nordstrom, then the Middle People are Old Navy, on a good day. WalMart on a normal day. I look pretty cute today, I did my nails and straightened my hair, and I'm wearing a cute skirt, my tall boots, and a bright pink sweater. Totally normal- everywhere but here. I am close to certain that these people spend, if any at all, about 5 minutes getting ready in the morning, and that includes brushing teeth and eating breakfast. I mean, fine, if you don't care, whatever. But don't look at me like I'm an alien just because I look nice.
The other weird thing about Middle People is that you can't quite categorize them...they aren't really hicks, and they aren't really poor white trash...most of them don't have much of an accent. And somehow that makes it even worse. And way harder to concretely make fun of...
Can I leave yet?? I came here to see my dad, because he had meetings at Purdue. He better feel very very very loved. I haven't felt so much like a city slicker out in the boonies since the last time I was in Indiana or Kentucky or some such tragic place. One of the physicists always calls Indiana the Armpit of the Midwest...and I think I'm going to have to agree with him on that one.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
A frightful sight, for you, on Halloween
I have seen a LOT of terrible outfits that I will share with you shortly, but this was shown to me just now and is definitely scary enough for some Halloween fun!
CLICK HERE AT YOUR OWN RISK
Just sayin....
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!
Love, The Fashion Avenger
CLICK HERE AT YOUR OWN RISK
Just sayin....
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!
Love, The Fashion Avenger
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
A is for adult
As I am sure many of you have noticed, being an adult sucks sometimes. Would I want to go back to the days of parental mandates on bedtimes and dinner? No. But even as spoiled and fortunate as I am with the parental support I still receive, some things about growing up can't be avoided, even by me.
Bills/dealing with the actual service providers/being home for installation/etc: I know I am not the only one who hates hates hates paying bills, talking to machines or the bitchy people who come after the machines at the internet company, making my schedule revolve around some guy/person who may or may not show up on time and then charge me a crap ton of money. I realize this is just part of life- but holy cow it blows. The automated phone people drive me INSANE. I'm certain I learned this from my father, who has the patience of an infant for things like this, but WOWZA- just dialing makes me tense, and by the time I get to a real person, I am red, my nostrils are flared, and if they were able to see me they would probably go cower in a corner. As they should...since most of them are complete morons.
Dealing with relationships like an adult: Sometimes, I just want to scream. Or smack someone. Or do stupid things that I will regret later, even though I know it ahead of time. Or tell a shameless lie just to cause/avoid pain. But it turns out, that's not how it works. Being up front and honest and truthful is HARD. And it hurts. I have no idea why it takes us so long to learn or be taught to do this, and many people never do, which makes it even worse. In Sex and the City (which, I'll grant you should not be a model for behavior), the women do incredibly stupid things sometimes, with very few real repercussions. And they are in their 30s/40s! SO not fair. Does it ever get easier to establish boundaries or walk away from something you really want but can't have or watch other people be happy when you are still working at it? Perhaps if I wear very very high heels and crazy hats, I too will find true love and happiness!
Everyday little things: Having someone do your laundry is something kids seriously need to appreciate at an earlier age. Doing laundry isn't hard, but its time consuming and a giant pain in the ass. And its expensive in my building! Dishes, vacuuming, cleaning the bathroom, cooking healthy meals every day, throwing away dead flowers (another thing I learned from my dad), organizing files and paperwork, etc- all of these things are easy and no big deal, but for some reason they bug me. I'd much rather be at the gym- which is saying something! Hell, I'd rather be at work! I definitely know why I need to make a ton of money when I grow up- so that I can have a dishwasher and my own washer/dryer! There is something very satisfying about seriously cleaning your whole place and standing back and looking at it. But then two days later its messy again! OY! Forget about it...I'm going to yoga.
Speaking of yoga, regularly scheduled exercise: I have no idea why getting to the gym is so hard to do, but real adults seem to be able to do this on a daily-ish basis (or they take their kids for walks or something!) without a problem. Once I get to the gym, I don't mind the exercise, and I always feel good afterward (particularly after a training session! Nothing says endorphins like yet another set of speed skaters!). How do adults do this? When does something finally click in my brain that says: Ooh! Its not fun or exciting or anything even close, but you will do it and you will get over it because you are an adult, and then will magically make my body move and do what its supposed to!? Also speaking of the gym- I am in the market for some gym pants that won't fall down. Any suggestions??
Last but not least: "Normal" sleep schedule. Parents perhaps would disagree, but I think that one hallmark of being a genuine adult is having a non-student-esque sleep schedule. Going to bed at 1am and sleeping until 9 or 10- or 3 just isn't something most adults do when they are finished with school. I need at least 8 hours of sleep. I have tried to live on less, and it just doesn't work. So I have been trying to train myself to go to bed at 11 and wake up at 7, since that at least SORT of resembles a normal working person's schedule, give or take an hour. But I find it very difficult to go to bed before 12 unless I am exhausted, and particularly now that its always dark- waking up to darkness at 7 is almost unbearable. But theres also the whole problem of a social life. And my weirdo "work" schedule. Most of my friends either work or are in school- or are unemployed like me. So everyone has bizarre schedules, and we hang out at very bizarre times, and mostly at night. Which means that if I want to hang out with people during the week, going to bed "early" just isn't going to work. Also, since I work on Sunday mornings and have to get up early for that, my Saturday night plans always get ruined. I'm not complaining about that, since I love that job, but my odd schedule and love of nighttime socialization is making this whole "adult schedule" very difficult. Do you just have to choose- sleep or fun?
Perhaps that's the big adult thing: choosing. And you know what? I want both!
Bills/dealing with the actual service providers/being home for installation/etc: I know I am not the only one who hates hates hates paying bills, talking to machines or the bitchy people who come after the machines at the internet company, making my schedule revolve around some guy/person who may or may not show up on time and then charge me a crap ton of money. I realize this is just part of life- but holy cow it blows. The automated phone people drive me INSANE. I'm certain I learned this from my father, who has the patience of an infant for things like this, but WOWZA- just dialing makes me tense, and by the time I get to a real person, I am red, my nostrils are flared, and if they were able to see me they would probably go cower in a corner. As they should...since most of them are complete morons.
Dealing with relationships like an adult: Sometimes, I just want to scream. Or smack someone. Or do stupid things that I will regret later, even though I know it ahead of time. Or tell a shameless lie just to cause/avoid pain. But it turns out, that's not how it works. Being up front and honest and truthful is HARD. And it hurts. I have no idea why it takes us so long to learn or be taught to do this, and many people never do, which makes it even worse. In Sex and the City (which, I'll grant you should not be a model for behavior), the women do incredibly stupid things sometimes, with very few real repercussions. And they are in their 30s/40s! SO not fair. Does it ever get easier to establish boundaries or walk away from something you really want but can't have or watch other people be happy when you are still working at it? Perhaps if I wear very very high heels and crazy hats, I too will find true love and happiness!
Everyday little things: Having someone do your laundry is something kids seriously need to appreciate at an earlier age. Doing laundry isn't hard, but its time consuming and a giant pain in the ass. And its expensive in my building! Dishes, vacuuming, cleaning the bathroom, cooking healthy meals every day, throwing away dead flowers (another thing I learned from my dad), organizing files and paperwork, etc- all of these things are easy and no big deal, but for some reason they bug me. I'd much rather be at the gym- which is saying something! Hell, I'd rather be at work! I definitely know why I need to make a ton of money when I grow up- so that I can have a dishwasher and my own washer/dryer! There is something very satisfying about seriously cleaning your whole place and standing back and looking at it. But then two days later its messy again! OY! Forget about it...I'm going to yoga.
Speaking of yoga, regularly scheduled exercise: I have no idea why getting to the gym is so hard to do, but real adults seem to be able to do this on a daily-ish basis (or they take their kids for walks or something!) without a problem. Once I get to the gym, I don't mind the exercise, and I always feel good afterward (particularly after a training session! Nothing says endorphins like yet another set of speed skaters!). How do adults do this? When does something finally click in my brain that says: Ooh! Its not fun or exciting or anything even close, but you will do it and you will get over it because you are an adult, and then will magically make my body move and do what its supposed to!? Also speaking of the gym- I am in the market for some gym pants that won't fall down. Any suggestions??
Last but not least: "Normal" sleep schedule. Parents perhaps would disagree, but I think that one hallmark of being a genuine adult is having a non-student-esque sleep schedule. Going to bed at 1am and sleeping until 9 or 10- or 3 just isn't something most adults do when they are finished with school. I need at least 8 hours of sleep. I have tried to live on less, and it just doesn't work. So I have been trying to train myself to go to bed at 11 and wake up at 7, since that at least SORT of resembles a normal working person's schedule, give or take an hour. But I find it very difficult to go to bed before 12 unless I am exhausted, and particularly now that its always dark- waking up to darkness at 7 is almost unbearable. But theres also the whole problem of a social life. And my weirdo "work" schedule. Most of my friends either work or are in school- or are unemployed like me. So everyone has bizarre schedules, and we hang out at very bizarre times, and mostly at night. Which means that if I want to hang out with people during the week, going to bed "early" just isn't going to work. Also, since I work on Sunday mornings and have to get up early for that, my Saturday night plans always get ruined. I'm not complaining about that, since I love that job, but my odd schedule and love of nighttime socialization is making this whole "adult schedule" very difficult. Do you just have to choose- sleep or fun?
Perhaps that's the big adult thing: choosing. And you know what? I want both!
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